Whilst you are thinking about comments to leave and friends to invite for my Tangerine Meg Mothers Day Competition 2010 (details re-posted below) I bring you a Live List. Ta-da…!
Live Bold List 15: Some of the stuff Mum taught me
Now I am myself a mother, I’ve analysed many (lets face it pretty much all) the things my parents said to us as children, as I often heard myself repeating them! Turns out much of it didn’t need tweaking! Many of their suggestions I found re-iterated in later reading of child and adult psychology (No. 1 is a mainstay of what I understood of Steve Biddulph‘s book Secret of Happy Children.)
- Frame instructions to children (and others) in the positive. A friend who studied child brain development later told me this matches with the way young brains work. For example, if you say “Don’t touch the flame”, they hear “…Touch the flame”! “Don’t” doesn’t register. This is particularly for Under 10s, I think.
- Cool down before acting or speaking when riled or upset so you don’t do or or say something that you’ll regret later. Step back from a challenging event to give yourself time to think things through. Write a letter to the person if there’s something you can’t say to them calmly but that you think is important.
- The concept of “Clean Dirt” I think came from Mum. Perhaps it was dirt/soil or perhaps paint. Often these things were messy, not disastrous, and could be cleaned up in due course!
- Think about the other person’s point of view. If you were in their place you might well behave in the same way. This, too, is reiterated by many a psychologist to bring understanding of the actions of others. The wonderful Patty Newbold at Assume Love asks “If this were the same wonderful person who loves me just as much as when we got married, what could explain their (apparently non-loving) behaviour?”
- Use manners. Please, thank-you, excuse me and proper placement of knives, forks, spoons, during eating and after, etc, etc. Remember to say “Thank you for having me”! These are handy little habits.
- Be true to yourself no matter what everybody else is doing. This is a great one! To ask yourself what is right for you, rather than what is the popular thing, in any given situation is actually quite a powerful tool.
I realise now this was quite huge:
I decided at 18 (and still living at home) that I would become vegetarian. Mum took this in her stride, researched a bit, borrowed some books and respected my wishes. That can’t have been particularly easy. I even overheard her tell a friend that it had been a good learning experience to find some new recipes!
If you like for your competition entry you could make a small list of what’s great about your mum. Or just recount a memorable event. All wonder-Mama comments welcome!
Here are the competition details again:
A hearty (haha) zipped leather bag and a luxurious scented soap (both of which are Fair Trade and Made in India) which I purchased on Friday from the wonderful Oxfam shop, and 3 of my art greeting cards. You can choose which card will please your Ma the best and keep the other 2 for friends or family another time. Or you can simply keep it all for yourself!!
3 Ways to enter:
- Suggest my Tangerine Meg Visual Artist page to some of your Facebook friends – please, only those you think may be interested!
How: Under my profile picture on the page click on the option ‘Suggest to Friends’. Click the friends you’ve selected on the list, and click ‘Send Invitations’. To let me know you’ve done this, leave a comment either here or at the Tangerine Meg Visual Artist page on Facebook. This will give you 1 entry into the competition. Whilst you’re there writing, do No. 2 or 3 for an extra chance if you like!
- Leave a comment at the bottom of this post telling me just a little of the wonderful person that is your Mother. This, too, will give you 1 entry into the competition.
- Leave a comment at my Tangerine Meg Visual Artist page on Facebook telling me a little about your gorgeous Mother. This is the third way you can get 1 entry into the competition.
So it’s possible to do all three things and get three chances to win. I am ok with you combining way 1 with way 2 or 3!
Entries close on Monday 26th April (that’s tomorrow) at 6pm, Australian Central Standard Time. This will allow the best chance to get the parcel to you in time. Then everyone will be collected into a computer spreadsheet and I will select a winner using a random number generator.
I will email (or FacebookMessage) the winner to get their postal address so I can send the prize; and will let you know here who won.
I will post the prize to the winner anywhere in the world. The lady at the Post Office said that mail is disrupted because of the volcano/planes situation, but normally it takes 2 to 3 days to Australian destinations, and 5 to 10 days to the US and Canada.
By the way Mothers Day is on May 9 this year in the US, Canada and Australia. In the UK the equivalent Mothering Sunday was back in March. UK Bold Souls can of course still enter!
Take care my Lovelies,
Go forth and write beautiful things about your Momma.